HOW TO GET THE ACCREDITATION AS AN ‘INDIAN INTELLECTUAL’
HOW, WHAT, WHEN, WHY, WHERE TO DO AND NOT TO DO , IF YOU HAVE TO GET THE STATUS OF AN ‘INTELLECTUAL’ IN INDIA
For getting the status of an ‘intellectual’, the caste, religion, sex, age, language or any other regional or linguistic parameters are not the criteria. A It is easy to get the status, if you are a Hindu who always criticizes his own religion and sanathana dharma A Your qualification, actual intelligence, vocabulary, position, etc. do not have any bearing for getting the status . A You should always belittle and denigrate Indian heritage and culture, whenever you get opportunity or even by creating opportunity. Always make fun of Hindu dharma and ancient Hindu scholars, saffron colour, Omkar, temples and priests A You have to show that you have the authority to criticize Hindu dharma. A Try to find a good place in the electronic media screen and print media. A Keep a charisma for attracting the media people, give them whatever they need for elevating you in the media. A Keep the relation strong with them.
A Tell always the positives about other religion while degrading and denigrating our dharma. A This will give a good image as an ‘impartial and unbiased scholar’ A You will automatically become famous as a pakka secular leader and other intellectuals will push you up. A Whatever you say- think- or do look only for your personal benefit. A Take the opportunity to understand the future benefits also, even if the ruling ministers and ruling party change. A Speeches should be so designed to get maximum clapping/ applause from the audience. A Keep appropriate facial expression depending upon what and where you say. A Create an impression that you are a sincere and dedicated leader of the common man. A Use as much confusing words as possible so that in future you can easily change your words, opinions and visions. A Select words in such a way that nobody understands what you really mean by saying so. A If something goes wrong in the future from your expressions put all the blame on the media. A You should never quote anything from Indian heritage or ancient Indian books because it is cheap to quote indigenous knowledge. A Quote always the Russian, Chinese or even from Iraq leaders. A If you are compelled to quote from India, quote only from Jawaharlal Nehru’s words.
A For justifying your view point take quotations from great (late) foreign scholars even if they have not told so. A This will help you in the long run because those leaders will not come back for questioning you. A You should only be careful to note that when and where you are quoting. A Use as many quotations as possible from foreign scholars of your status for denigrating Indian heritage and culture. A You can use even outdated scientific data and observation for this purpose. A You can add your on words while quoting their messages, because nobody will verify those statements. A Try to create an impression that your quotations originally belong to a great foreign scholar. A Inform indirectly, the audience that you also read books. A Your speech, or writing should never give any doubts to your audience or readers about its authenticity and originality, even if it is a copied one. A Never praise the past – present and future of India. A Never do so for Sanskriti and make it a point that you never quote from Sanskrit books. A Keep this in mind even if you are delivering lecture in Sanskrit institutes. A You can see many intelectuals of your type in almost all the Sanskrit institutes, Ayurveda colleges and Vaastu gurukulams A Share your views with them for further degrading our cultural and scientific heritage. A If you have time to spare, tell all the memorable negatives about Indian customs and rituals in Sanskrit institutes also. So that people will appreciate your secular, rational and scientific vision. A This may even fetch you some Sanskrit based awards. A Due to the circumstances, if you are forced to say something good about our heritage, take all precaution and say as though you are quoting from a foreign scholar. A But create an impression, that you are also an authority to talk about India and inform indirectly that you also know about Indian culture at an equal level to some of our prime ministers. A Keep in your mind that even when you protest against Cocoa cola, Pepsi and American multinationals, also use similar words against Indian contribution to science or technology. A Appreciate only foreign scientists and scholars, if possible from Russia or China.
A Belittle and denigrate Indian scientific and technological heritage whenever and wherever possible and encourage younger generation to do so. A But make sure that your children are studying in reputed excellent dharmic institutes where Indian culture is taught to the core, preferably outside your State. A If you have the qualification to read the school books and happen to read any heritage knowledge in the syllabus, proclaim that it is Hindu fundamentalism and vehemently protest against the move towards Saffronisation, Hinduisation, Indianisation and so on. A Outright reject the Indian goddess concept on Vidya A If you have enough followers and money to spend declare a Hartal against all type of Indianisation. A If you are quoting the words of someone, try to make sure that the name of the scholar is not familiar to the audience, and also see that the quoted book is not available. A Tell that the ‘particular’ scholar said it in Rangoon or Korea, in 1938 Feb 28th. A Make sure that nobody verifies your statements or quotations A Since your future, as an intellectual, remains exclusively on how many press conferences you hold and press releases you give, make sure that at-least one per week is done. A You can get sponsorship for the expenses without any difficulty A Express your shock through media on the sad and sudden demise of other intellectuals. A Try to become one of the speakers for giving felicitation address in as much meetings as possible. A Praise the organizers as much as possible, which will benefit you in the course of time. A Try to participate in funeral processions, chain making, group running for building patriotism, etc. If possible be in the forefront. A Stand near by the famous people so that your photo also will appear in the media. A You elevate all useless ( off course useful for you) fellows, in return they will elevate you, so help each other A Always put the first signature in mass memorandum, preferably in presence of the media photographers. A Do not follow law and order, this can fetch you a place in print media easily.
A You have to say that you are violating the law and order for the people. A If you do not have any professional or technical qualification, try to become a syndicate or senate member of the Universities, or atleast the post of Devaswom Board president, or Chairman. A All these do not require any qualification and quality. Getting higher position in the Toddy Workers Welfare Board, Fisher Men Welfare Board, etc., need higher qualifications. A If the press reporters or general public ask some general questions to you, say ‘you know much better than me’ and save yourself. A If the situation goes little negative and more questions flow on the same subject, tell something about Aryan Invasion. A If the situation further worsens and more questions come, criticize the caste system in Hindu dharma. A If nothing else is available for saving yourself from the press people tell something negative about Amma, Swamy or Guruji., and declare that all the present problems in India are created by them A Make sure to tell good about Mother Teresa, Bukari Imam and St Xavier Francis even though their prime aim was conversion of Hindus. A Or as the last tool, before attempting a walk out, tell that all the problems including Sunami, Katrina, Rita, Wilma and the Plague in Surat and Iraq situation are all created by Parivar organizations. A Talk like a genius who can speak about any subject at any time. A In foreign countries, before delivering lectures, do not ‘drink’ too much, even if the organizers are liberal to give you free A See that your tongue is not slipping while delivering lecture. A Make sure that you read from a paper if you have consumed drinks beyond the limit. A Remember that many intellectuals consume more when they visit foreign countries, because better quality and unlimited quantity liquor is available free of cost for the guests. A Still keep a ‘natural seriousness’ of an intellectual in your face.
A If you are sure that your control on leg and tongue is loosing, give the written matter to one of your colleagues to read, if he has a better control over his body . A Create an impression that you are not in a position to speak because of jetlag or you are tired. A Tell in one line that “ I am not well and hence giving the paper to so and so to read my message”. A Try to build your own style in using words and hand action during speech A If you cannot build an original set of natural action during the speech, copy the method followed by someone who is no more. A Try to build up associations ‘fans’ or followers. A Criticize any Indian to any extent either going up or down, but keep a minimum standard while criticizing a foreigner. A You should always remember that the memory of the ‘reacting people’ is less and the memorizing people will not react. A Whenever you are contradicting your own earlier statements, inform the audience that it is because of their ignorance they feel that you are contradicting the earlier statement. A Make the audience feel that you know about India also. A While talking something about India, ask what happened in 1936 Feb 29 ( after making sure that it is a leap year), as though something happened on that day. A If you are forced to resign from some position due to your criminal background, tell that it is for the people you threw the position and tell that let the people decide on your quality. A Declare those statements with dignity and at low voice. A If you get some negative points on others from the newspapers, use those points appropriately in your speech. Create an image that you are also aware about what is happening around us. A Make the people aware that you know what are all happening in Iraq, Houston, Iran, Korea, Lanka and also in Mizoram…A Quote something from Ethiopia and never say anything negative about Tianen men square or Cuba. A Never say any negative position in the Toddy Workers Welfare Board, Fisher Men Welfare Board, etc., need higher qualifications. A If the press reporters or general public ask some general questions to you, say ‘you know much better than me’ and save yourself. A If the situation goes little negative and more questions flow on the same subject, tell something about Aryan Invasion. A If the situation further worsens and more questions come, criticize the caste system in Hindu dharma. A If nothing else is available for saving yourself from the press people tell something negative about Amma, Swamy or Guruji., and declare that all the present problems in India are created by them A Make sure to tell good about Mother Teresa, Bukari Imam and St Xavier Francis even though their prime aim was conversion of Hindus. A Or as the last tool, before attempting a walk out, tell that all the problems including Sunami, Katrina, Rita, Wilma and the Plague in Surat and Iraq situation are all created by Parivar organizations. A Talk like a genius who can speak about any subject at any time. A In foreign countries, before delivering lectures, do not ‘drink’ too much, even if the organizers are liberal to give you free A See that your tongue is not slipping while delivering lecture. A Make sure that you read from a paper if you have consumed drinks beyond the limit.
A Remember that many intellectuals consume more when they visit foreign countries, because better quality and unlimited quantity liquor is available free of cost for the guests. A Still keep a ‘natural seriousness’ of an intellectual in your face. A If you are sure that your control on leg and tongue is loosing, give the written matter to one of your colleagues to read, if he has a better control over his body . A Create an impression that you are not in a position to speak because of jetlag or you are tired. A Tell in one line that “ I am not well and hence giving the paper to so and so to read my message”. A Try to build your own style in using words and hand action during speech A If you cannot build an original set of natural action during the speech, copy the method followed by someone who is no more. A Try to build up associations ‘fans’ or followers. A Criticize any Indian to any extent either going up or down, but keep a minimum standard while criticizing a foreigner. A You should always remember that the memory of the ‘reacting people’ is less and the memorizing people will not react. A Whenever you are contradicting your own earlier statements, inform the audience that it is because of their ignorance they feel that you are contradicting the earlier statement. A Make the audience feel that you know about India also. A While talking something about India, ask what happened in 1936 Feb 29 ( after making sure that it is a leap year), as though something happened on that day. A If you are forced to resign from some position due to your criminal background, tell that it is for the people you threw the position and tell that let the people decide on your quality. A Declare those statements with dignity and at low voice. A If you get some negative points on others from the newspapers, use those points appropriately in your speech. Create an image that you are also aware about what is happening around us. A Make the people aware that you know what are all happening in Iraq, Houston, Iran, Korea, Lanka and also in Mizoram…A Quote something from Ethiopia and never say anything negative about Tianen men square or Cuba. A Never say any negative marketing is easy and building your career also becomes easy. A Many churches, and Christian agents will help you directly and indirectly for propagating your anti Hindu messages and for selling the books. A Be in contact with the media people, whenever you are traveling. A Offer a cup of tea or something and keep the friendship strong always. A Build relationship with five star hotel owners, workers, toddy shop workers union, minority leaders during traveling from place to place. This relation will have life long benefit for an intellectual like you. A Give some money to some organization and tell them to give half of that as an award to you. A When you get some award, tell that at this age you are not thinking about the awards. . A It is the easiest method for getting more awards. A When you stand for receiving the award, keep a philosophical facial expression that you are much beyond the level of accepting an award. A By following these techniques, you can spend your manushya janma fruitfully for making enough money, position, name and fame, even though it may not have any use for anyone other than yourself. A Definitely some ministers will inaugurate your bust/ statue for the crows to sit. A They may also venture to put your name for some drainage canals.
TIPS FROM KERALA INTELLECTUALS TO ALL INDIA LEVEL INTELLECTUALS. ! A Support the minorities always even when they destroy temples, go for terrorism, do anti national activities, attack police or media persons. A Keep silence against all minority mooted terrorism. A Always justify the bomb blasts, killings, storing weapons in houses and religious institutes, if done by minorities. A Do not say anything about foreign fund flow for conversion and terrorism. A Partake in hartal for releasing the terrorist leaders and put your signature in mass memorandum. A Be an active human right activist for the minorities only. A Support UGC salary for the Urdu and Arabi teachers in Madrasas even though they are illiterate. A Support grants for building Madrasas, mosques, and pension for mullahs and moulavis. A If a Hindu priest is murdered, do not utter even a single word. A But if a sand particle fallen on any minority priest, straight away blame Hindu fundamentalists. A If any Hindu institute is taken over by government justify it with powerful words. A If it happened for minorities oppose with tooth and nail. A If minority gundas attack the press people, tell to suspend the police or taking action against the police even though the police men were 200 kilometers away from the site of attack. A Always speak against the atrocities against minorities by majority community and police, particularly when the election season approaches. A If the heritage subjects are to be included in the syllabus divide it 1:1:1 for Hindus, Christians and Muslims. A For the Muslims, support Arabian history and for the Christians something from the life of St George, St Philomena or something what happened in Jerusalem.
A If your supporters destroyed public property, say that it is the second freedom struggle. A If others did so tell that it is against democracy. A If your followers attack police or police station say that it is the second Chowri Chowra. A If your follower happened to be a killer, make sure that he gets the pension for freedom fighters. A Justify Gherao, hartal and bandh if and only if your followers do it. A When you approach to old age, tell that you are not an anti Hindu. A Declare that your wife is going to temple and you are not against her personal freedom. A You say that you are only accompanying your wife in the old age . A When you follow religious customs, make it sure that no one tells it publicly. A Select your own cast youth for son in law and daughter in law, even when you fight vigorously against cast system. A Take as much dowry as possible and fight against it. A If you are an atheist, say that even in Russia and China people go to Budha vihar. So you are also following their footsteps and that too for seeing what is happening in the temples and say specifically that you are not going for worshipping. A But you can chant Vedas, worship, accept poornakumbha reception, after making sure that no familiar face is watching you A You should know that all intellectuals, atheists and progressives in Kerala go to temple when they cross the age of 65 and becomes almost useless for everything . A You have also to find a suitable justification for anything and everything like the Kerala intellectuals do. A Remember that for getting the credit as an intellectual, no quality or qualification is required. A Neither poorva janma punyam, poorva janma karma phalam, blessings of your parents or blessings of your gurus nor even your horoscope factors. A You should only learn how to use your eyes, ears and tongue. A You should have a thick skin and highly flexible tongue, suitable friends and adjustable wife. A All the above mentioned special qualities are given only to a very selected people by the creator. Hence the Kerala type intellectuals are very few in numbers. A If you fall within this, you can spend this janma lavishly, under others expenses, without working much, with name and fame. Your janma can be made fully useful to you and your family, by cheating others and making everyone fools. A Let god bless all Indian intellectuals who are the assets of India for misguiding all the good people.
Dr.N.Gopalakrishnan
Download the free ebook on this
For getting the status of an ‘intellectual’, the caste, religion, sex, age, language or any other regional or linguistic parameters are not the criteria. A It is easy to get the status, if you are a Hindu who always criticizes his own religion and sanathana dharma A Your qualification, actual intelligence, vocabulary, position, etc. do not have any bearing for getting the status . A You should always belittle and denigrate Indian heritage and culture, whenever you get opportunity or even by creating opportunity. Always make fun of Hindu dharma and ancient Hindu scholars, saffron colour, Omkar, temples and priests A You have to show that you have the authority to criticize Hindu dharma. A Try to find a good place in the electronic media screen and print media. A Keep a charisma for attracting the media people, give them whatever they need for elevating you in the media. A Keep the relation strong with them.
A Tell always the positives about other religion while degrading and denigrating our dharma. A This will give a good image as an ‘impartial and unbiased scholar’ A You will automatically become famous as a pakka secular leader and other intellectuals will push you up. A Whatever you say- think- or do look only for your personal benefit. A Take the opportunity to understand the future benefits also, even if the ruling ministers and ruling party change. A Speeches should be so designed to get maximum clapping/ applause from the audience. A Keep appropriate facial expression depending upon what and where you say. A Create an impression that you are a sincere and dedicated leader of the common man. A Use as much confusing words as possible so that in future you can easily change your words, opinions and visions. A Select words in such a way that nobody understands what you really mean by saying so. A If something goes wrong in the future from your expressions put all the blame on the media. A You should never quote anything from Indian heritage or ancient Indian books because it is cheap to quote indigenous knowledge. A Quote always the Russian, Chinese or even from Iraq leaders. A If you are compelled to quote from India, quote only from Jawaharlal Nehru’s words.
A For justifying your view point take quotations from great (late) foreign scholars even if they have not told so. A This will help you in the long run because those leaders will not come back for questioning you. A You should only be careful to note that when and where you are quoting. A Use as many quotations as possible from foreign scholars of your status for denigrating Indian heritage and culture. A You can use even outdated scientific data and observation for this purpose. A You can add your on words while quoting their messages, because nobody will verify those statements. A Try to create an impression that your quotations originally belong to a great foreign scholar. A Inform indirectly, the audience that you also read books. A Your speech, or writing should never give any doubts to your audience or readers about its authenticity and originality, even if it is a copied one. A Never praise the past – present and future of India. A Never do so for Sanskriti and make it a point that you never quote from Sanskrit books. A Keep this in mind even if you are delivering lecture in Sanskrit institutes. A You can see many intelectuals of your type in almost all the Sanskrit institutes, Ayurveda colleges and Vaastu gurukulams A Share your views with them for further degrading our cultural and scientific heritage. A If you have time to spare, tell all the memorable negatives about Indian customs and rituals in Sanskrit institutes also. So that people will appreciate your secular, rational and scientific vision. A This may even fetch you some Sanskrit based awards. A Due to the circumstances, if you are forced to say something good about our heritage, take all precaution and say as though you are quoting from a foreign scholar. A But create an impression, that you are also an authority to talk about India and inform indirectly that you also know about Indian culture at an equal level to some of our prime ministers. A Keep in your mind that even when you protest against Cocoa cola, Pepsi and American multinationals, also use similar words against Indian contribution to science or technology. A Appreciate only foreign scientists and scholars, if possible from Russia or China.
A Belittle and denigrate Indian scientific and technological heritage whenever and wherever possible and encourage younger generation to do so. A But make sure that your children are studying in reputed excellent dharmic institutes where Indian culture is taught to the core, preferably outside your State. A If you have the qualification to read the school books and happen to read any heritage knowledge in the syllabus, proclaim that it is Hindu fundamentalism and vehemently protest against the move towards Saffronisation, Hinduisation, Indianisation and so on. A Outright reject the Indian goddess concept on Vidya A If you have enough followers and money to spend declare a Hartal against all type of Indianisation. A If you are quoting the words of someone, try to make sure that the name of the scholar is not familiar to the audience, and also see that the quoted book is not available. A Tell that the ‘particular’ scholar said it in Rangoon or Korea, in 1938 Feb 28th. A Make sure that nobody verifies your statements or quotations A Since your future, as an intellectual, remains exclusively on how many press conferences you hold and press releases you give, make sure that at-least one per week is done. A You can get sponsorship for the expenses without any difficulty A Express your shock through media on the sad and sudden demise of other intellectuals. A Try to become one of the speakers for giving felicitation address in as much meetings as possible. A Praise the organizers as much as possible, which will benefit you in the course of time. A Try to participate in funeral processions, chain making, group running for building patriotism, etc. If possible be in the forefront. A Stand near by the famous people so that your photo also will appear in the media. A You elevate all useless ( off course useful for you) fellows, in return they will elevate you, so help each other A Always put the first signature in mass memorandum, preferably in presence of the media photographers. A Do not follow law and order, this can fetch you a place in print media easily.
A You have to say that you are violating the law and order for the people. A If you do not have any professional or technical qualification, try to become a syndicate or senate member of the Universities, or atleast the post of Devaswom Board president, or Chairman. A All these do not require any qualification and quality. Getting higher position in the Toddy Workers Welfare Board, Fisher Men Welfare Board, etc., need higher qualifications. A If the press reporters or general public ask some general questions to you, say ‘you know much better than me’ and save yourself. A If the situation goes little negative and more questions flow on the same subject, tell something about Aryan Invasion. A If the situation further worsens and more questions come, criticize the caste system in Hindu dharma. A If nothing else is available for saving yourself from the press people tell something negative about Amma, Swamy or Guruji., and declare that all the present problems in India are created by them A Make sure to tell good about Mother Teresa, Bukari Imam and St Xavier Francis even though their prime aim was conversion of Hindus. A Or as the last tool, before attempting a walk out, tell that all the problems including Sunami, Katrina, Rita, Wilma and the Plague in Surat and Iraq situation are all created by Parivar organizations. A Talk like a genius who can speak about any subject at any time. A In foreign countries, before delivering lectures, do not ‘drink’ too much, even if the organizers are liberal to give you free A See that your tongue is not slipping while delivering lecture. A Make sure that you read from a paper if you have consumed drinks beyond the limit. A Remember that many intellectuals consume more when they visit foreign countries, because better quality and unlimited quantity liquor is available free of cost for the guests. A Still keep a ‘natural seriousness’ of an intellectual in your face.
A If you are sure that your control on leg and tongue is loosing, give the written matter to one of your colleagues to read, if he has a better control over his body . A Create an impression that you are not in a position to speak because of jetlag or you are tired. A Tell in one line that “ I am not well and hence giving the paper to so and so to read my message”. A Try to build your own style in using words and hand action during speech A If you cannot build an original set of natural action during the speech, copy the method followed by someone who is no more. A Try to build up associations ‘fans’ or followers. A Criticize any Indian to any extent either going up or down, but keep a minimum standard while criticizing a foreigner. A You should always remember that the memory of the ‘reacting people’ is less and the memorizing people will not react. A Whenever you are contradicting your own earlier statements, inform the audience that it is because of their ignorance they feel that you are contradicting the earlier statement. A Make the audience feel that you know about India also. A While talking something about India, ask what happened in 1936 Feb 29 ( after making sure that it is a leap year), as though something happened on that day. A If you are forced to resign from some position due to your criminal background, tell that it is for the people you threw the position and tell that let the people decide on your quality. A Declare those statements with dignity and at low voice. A If you get some negative points on others from the newspapers, use those points appropriately in your speech. Create an image that you are also aware about what is happening around us. A Make the people aware that you know what are all happening in Iraq, Houston, Iran, Korea, Lanka and also in Mizoram…A Quote something from Ethiopia and never say anything negative about Tianen men square or Cuba. A Never say any negative position in the Toddy Workers Welfare Board, Fisher Men Welfare Board, etc., need higher qualifications. A If the press reporters or general public ask some general questions to you, say ‘you know much better than me’ and save yourself. A If the situation goes little negative and more questions flow on the same subject, tell something about Aryan Invasion. A If the situation further worsens and more questions come, criticize the caste system in Hindu dharma. A If nothing else is available for saving yourself from the press people tell something negative about Amma, Swamy or Guruji., and declare that all the present problems in India are created by them A Make sure to tell good about Mother Teresa, Bukari Imam and St Xavier Francis even though their prime aim was conversion of Hindus. A Or as the last tool, before attempting a walk out, tell that all the problems including Sunami, Katrina, Rita, Wilma and the Plague in Surat and Iraq situation are all created by Parivar organizations. A Talk like a genius who can speak about any subject at any time. A In foreign countries, before delivering lectures, do not ‘drink’ too much, even if the organizers are liberal to give you free A See that your tongue is not slipping while delivering lecture. A Make sure that you read from a paper if you have consumed drinks beyond the limit.
A Remember that many intellectuals consume more when they visit foreign countries, because better quality and unlimited quantity liquor is available free of cost for the guests. A Still keep a ‘natural seriousness’ of an intellectual in your face. A If you are sure that your control on leg and tongue is loosing, give the written matter to one of your colleagues to read, if he has a better control over his body . A Create an impression that you are not in a position to speak because of jetlag or you are tired. A Tell in one line that “ I am not well and hence giving the paper to so and so to read my message”. A Try to build your own style in using words and hand action during speech A If you cannot build an original set of natural action during the speech, copy the method followed by someone who is no more. A Try to build up associations ‘fans’ or followers. A Criticize any Indian to any extent either going up or down, but keep a minimum standard while criticizing a foreigner. A You should always remember that the memory of the ‘reacting people’ is less and the memorizing people will not react. A Whenever you are contradicting your own earlier statements, inform the audience that it is because of their ignorance they feel that you are contradicting the earlier statement. A Make the audience feel that you know about India also. A While talking something about India, ask what happened in 1936 Feb 29 ( after making sure that it is a leap year), as though something happened on that day. A If you are forced to resign from some position due to your criminal background, tell that it is for the people you threw the position and tell that let the people decide on your quality. A Declare those statements with dignity and at low voice. A If you get some negative points on others from the newspapers, use those points appropriately in your speech. Create an image that you are also aware about what is happening around us. A Make the people aware that you know what are all happening in Iraq, Houston, Iran, Korea, Lanka and also in Mizoram…A Quote something from Ethiopia and never say anything negative about Tianen men square or Cuba. A Never say any negative marketing is easy and building your career also becomes easy. A Many churches, and Christian agents will help you directly and indirectly for propagating your anti Hindu messages and for selling the books. A Be in contact with the media people, whenever you are traveling. A Offer a cup of tea or something and keep the friendship strong always. A Build relationship with five star hotel owners, workers, toddy shop workers union, minority leaders during traveling from place to place. This relation will have life long benefit for an intellectual like you. A Give some money to some organization and tell them to give half of that as an award to you. A When you get some award, tell that at this age you are not thinking about the awards. . A It is the easiest method for getting more awards. A When you stand for receiving the award, keep a philosophical facial expression that you are much beyond the level of accepting an award. A By following these techniques, you can spend your manushya janma fruitfully for making enough money, position, name and fame, even though it may not have any use for anyone other than yourself. A Definitely some ministers will inaugurate your bust/ statue for the crows to sit. A They may also venture to put your name for some drainage canals.
TIPS FROM KERALA INTELLECTUALS TO ALL INDIA LEVEL INTELLECTUALS. ! A Support the minorities always even when they destroy temples, go for terrorism, do anti national activities, attack police or media persons. A Keep silence against all minority mooted terrorism. A Always justify the bomb blasts, killings, storing weapons in houses and religious institutes, if done by minorities. A Do not say anything about foreign fund flow for conversion and terrorism. A Partake in hartal for releasing the terrorist leaders and put your signature in mass memorandum. A Be an active human right activist for the minorities only. A Support UGC salary for the Urdu and Arabi teachers in Madrasas even though they are illiterate. A Support grants for building Madrasas, mosques, and pension for mullahs and moulavis. A If a Hindu priest is murdered, do not utter even a single word. A But if a sand particle fallen on any minority priest, straight away blame Hindu fundamentalists. A If any Hindu institute is taken over by government justify it with powerful words. A If it happened for minorities oppose with tooth and nail. A If minority gundas attack the press people, tell to suspend the police or taking action against the police even though the police men were 200 kilometers away from the site of attack. A Always speak against the atrocities against minorities by majority community and police, particularly when the election season approaches. A If the heritage subjects are to be included in the syllabus divide it 1:1:1 for Hindus, Christians and Muslims. A For the Muslims, support Arabian history and for the Christians something from the life of St George, St Philomena or something what happened in Jerusalem.
A If your supporters destroyed public property, say that it is the second freedom struggle. A If others did so tell that it is against democracy. A If your followers attack police or police station say that it is the second Chowri Chowra. A If your follower happened to be a killer, make sure that he gets the pension for freedom fighters. A Justify Gherao, hartal and bandh if and only if your followers do it. A When you approach to old age, tell that you are not an anti Hindu. A Declare that your wife is going to temple and you are not against her personal freedom. A You say that you are only accompanying your wife in the old age . A When you follow religious customs, make it sure that no one tells it publicly. A Select your own cast youth for son in law and daughter in law, even when you fight vigorously against cast system. A Take as much dowry as possible and fight against it. A If you are an atheist, say that even in Russia and China people go to Budha vihar. So you are also following their footsteps and that too for seeing what is happening in the temples and say specifically that you are not going for worshipping. A But you can chant Vedas, worship, accept poornakumbha reception, after making sure that no familiar face is watching you A You should know that all intellectuals, atheists and progressives in Kerala go to temple when they cross the age of 65 and becomes almost useless for everything . A You have also to find a suitable justification for anything and everything like the Kerala intellectuals do. A Remember that for getting the credit as an intellectual, no quality or qualification is required. A Neither poorva janma punyam, poorva janma karma phalam, blessings of your parents or blessings of your gurus nor even your horoscope factors. A You should only learn how to use your eyes, ears and tongue. A You should have a thick skin and highly flexible tongue, suitable friends and adjustable wife. A All the above mentioned special qualities are given only to a very selected people by the creator. Hence the Kerala type intellectuals are very few in numbers. A If you fall within this, you can spend this janma lavishly, under others expenses, without working much, with name and fame. Your janma can be made fully useful to you and your family, by cheating others and making everyone fools. A Let god bless all Indian intellectuals who are the assets of India for misguiding all the good people.
Dr.N.Gopalakrishnan
Download the free ebook on this
These facts about Indian Intellectuals take copies and circulate / e-mail to all.