Sunday, June 6, 1999. It was the last day of the Seattle retreat. Torrential rains and the biting cold didn't deter a lot of people from coming. A huge crowd had arrived for the public darshan. I sat next to Amma for some time during the darshan.
A Jewish man came up to her and asked for a mantra. He had previously been initiated with a Hebrew mantra, and told me that he wanted Amma to give him the same mantra. When I translated this to Amma, she looked at him and smiled.
I asked him for the mantra and wrote it down on a piece of paper. It was a long mantra, consisting of six lines. I wrote it down phonetically in Malayalam, so that Amma would be able to read it. About 15 minutes later, as I was about to show the piece of paper to Amma, I noticed that she was whispering something in the man's ear. He then got up to leave.
I was puzzled and asked him, "Did you receive a mantra from Amma?"
"Yes, Amma chanted that same mantra in my ear," he replied.
I was completely stunned, because the paper on which the mantra was written was still in my hand. Also, the mantra was in Hebrew, not Sanskrit. But, then, nothing is a miracle as far as Amma is concerned.
"Yes, Amma chanted that same mantra in my ear," he replied.
I was completely stunned, because the paper on which the mantra was written was still in my hand. Also, the mantra was in Hebrew, not Sanskrit. But, then, nothing is a miracle as far as Amma is concerned.
When I enquired further, the man informed me that Amma had pronounced the mantra in fluent Hebrew, with the ease and perfect pronunciation of a Jew! His eyes were full of tears as he said this.
I asked him to tell me the meaning of the mantra. And then, even though it was an unpardonable act, due to my acute ignorance, I decided to test Mother.
I asked him to tell me the meaning of the mantra. And then, even though it was an unpardonable act, due to my acute ignorance, I decided to test Mother.
I asked her the meaning of that mantra. Amma smiled at me. I felt that it was an extremely sarcastic smile. Even though it was freezing cold, I found myself sweating profusely. I was almost in tears, thinking about the grave mistake I had just committed.
But a moment later Amma's face was full of compassion. She drew me towards her and whispered the meaning of the mantra in my ear. I was amazed because Amma said exactly what the man had said to me. Though long, the mantra could be condensed to "Let the Truth shine within me."
Hours later when the darshan came to an end, I still had a guilty conscience because I felt I had committed a serious mistake. After the darshan I went inside the temple. Amma was talking with the other swamis, but she looked at me from time to time with a smile. She called me to her and put some prasad in my mouth. She looked deeply into my eyes.
I became aware of the depths of my ignorance. My condition was similar to that of the salt doll that sets out to measure the depth of the sea! I felt so ashamed to think that even after 20 years I hadn't understood an iota of Amma's greatness, and I deeply regretted that I had tested her- Swami Amritatmananda Puri (ammas senior disciple)
